So, is it bad to troll this is why you’re fat for recipe ideas?
This is where I’m at.
All my life I’ve been a master at piling high-calorie foods on top of each other in order to make grandiose creations. Tortilla chips smothered with shredded cheese, sour cream, barbecue sauce, and ranch dressing? Bring it on. A crumbled Hostess cupcake on top of a bowlful (and I mean a BOWLful) of cookie dough ice cream? Yes please.
Some things seem like things normal people would consider eating (maybe… I think…):
BBQ pork, macaroni and cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich, via tumblr
But then there are those that I think most people would balk at. These cement my belief that my strange cravings show no bounds:
Sliced doughnuts topped with brownie mix, melted Cadbury Creme Eggs and frosting, garnished with red sprinkles and served with fried pound cake chunks, via tumblr … seriously, Cadbury Crème Eggs. YES. I get ridiculously excited by this prospect.
There’s something so intriguing about these foods–those that are seemingly outrageous, yet I’m mysteriously drawn to them. I wonder why, when I see a picture like this:
Taco Bell Cheesy Double Beef Burritos stuffed inside a sausage log wrapped in bacon, via tumblr
THEIR REACTION: “I just vomited in my mouth. There is not one rational human on God’s green earth who would put that into her body. My cat would try to cover that up with its scratchy-paw move.”
MY REACTION: “LET’S MAKE A RUN FOR THE BORDER.”
What makes people react differently when they see foods, smell foods, read about foods? What makes one person go for a small kid’s cone and another go for this:
One layer of marshmallows, a layer of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, another layer of marshmallows sandwiched between two S’Mores Pop-Tarts topped in chocolate sauce, via tumblr
I mean, the answer is obvious to me. Because a small kid’s cone will never, ever taste like S’Mores Pop-Tarts in chocolate sauce with Reese’s cups. Never.
What made me this way? Is my preference toward the fatty, the salty, the reprehensible, inherent or has it been learned somehow?
Surely we can read and cite all the scientific research about my taste buds’ affinity for fat but is that helping me, right now, avoid this stuff that is so deliciously subverting my journey to my goal weight? No. It just tells me that I am not to blame for this affinity! It’s just the way my tongue is.
Or how about how fat eating “may alter the brain as much as hard drugs” and therefore, ingesting the Taco Bell sausage roll, over time, will make me want more Taco Bell sausage rolls? Why isn’t the inverse true–why can’t I yearn for more grilled chicken breast on a bed of arugula if I repeatedly eat it?
Maybe what I need is rehab. Kale chip rehab.
Maybe I just don’t have willpowe–oh, wait, Fuck You.
I love eating healthily and have entertained myself creating healthy, appealing, savory foods to try and curb the urge I get to go grab three McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers on the way home (stopping at three McD’s for one sandwich each, which I do so nobody knows I’m eating three… wait, I’m off on a tangent) and stuff them in my face. Maybe topped with/dipped in ranch dressing.
Goddamned ranch dressing.
I love the way healthy eating makes me feel; when I eat a flamethrower burger and fries chased by an Oreo brownie explosion what-the-hell-ever at DQ, I feel heavy inside, both physically and emotionally.
As much as I want to live this way, menu planning from this is why you’re fat, I know I can’t. I did that for too long, and my weight was slowly killing me as a result. Now I go through fits of going back there again–of bingeing on these things–and I need to know what I can do to stop this behavior, because I can’t seem to shake it.